Gaining Understanding
by Bucken-Berry
Summary: Ray teaches Miguel an important lesson. Alvarez/Mukada


Disclaimer: don't own

Ray blinked from his spot on the floor, thoughts racing. Part of him, the part that had been toughened by Oz, thought it had been inevitable, yet the remaining soft side could barely believe it.

Chris Keller had come in his office, begging for absolution. When he had once again refused, Keller had flown at him. He'd barely seen the metallic flash before his skin was pierced.

Now he was lying on the ground, blood gushing from his chest, breath coming in ragged gasps. He tried to keep his composure, but his body had different ideas, and he found himself making incoherent noises even though thoughts were clear in his mind.

He saw someone throw the door open and rush to him. His vision had long since faded to blurs, however, and he couldn't see the person. He wondered how he was still conscious; he was losing blood rapidly.

He wanted to say something, anything, but all that came out was a helpless moan as the intake of air sent another wave of pain through his body.

He felt hands lifting him and a vague voice talking to him.

"Father, please, stay awake." Miguel's voice said. It was almost too gentle to be Miguel's. He wanted to respond but instead he let out a tiny whimper.

"I know, I know." Miguel said soothingly. He wondered how it was possible that Miguel- Miguel Alvarez, the man who had held him hostage more than once, the man who had gouged a man's eyes out- could be trying to comfort him. He shifted slightly and an unbearable pain went through him, making him cry out. His vision went dark before he could do anything else, and he plunged into nothingness.

Miguel suddenly felt Ray go limp. He checked for a pulse and found one, though it was so tiny he wasn't sure how long that would be the case. For now his only concern was making sure Ray didn't die, but whether Ray did or not he was going to kill the bastard that had done this. Anyone who hurt his padre was going to get it.

He ran to the hospital section of the prison. Doctor Nathan immediately set to work with an IV while Miguel applied pressure to the stab wound.

"What's his blood type?" Doctor Nathan asked.

"I don't know." She nodded grimly and continued setting up the IV. When she'd gotten some medicines in she tapped Miguel's shoulder.

"Keep that up; I'm going to check the prison records." She hurried off. Miguel was left with his thoughts.

Miguel had only recently come to realize just how much he liked Ray. He'd tried to deny it for a long time, but he couldn't anymore: he didn't just like him as a friend, but he was a priest. He sighed inwardly. Whenever he fell in love, it was with people who shouldn't be with him. And people he fell in love with had a tendency to get hurt.

He took another look at Ray. It didn't look like him at all, with the whiteness of his skin and the red blood pouring out of him. Blood didn't suit his gentle padre.

Doctor Nathan came back, looking grim.

"Don't tell me…" Miguel began. Nathan shook her head.

"Rare blood type, no one has any… I'm checking the records to see if anyone here matches. To make things worse, he's going to need surgery- that shiv hit his lung."

"Is he going to be ok?" Miguel asked nervously.

"If we can find someone with his blood type soon, there's a good chance." She said. She walked out of the room again and returned after a few minutes.

"There's one person in Oz with his blood type."

"Who?" Miguel asked.

"You." Nathan said simply.

"I'll do it." Miguel said without hesitation.

Nathan nodded. "I thought so. It's nice to have a willing donor." She led him to a chair.

"How much does he need?"

"He's in hypovolemic shock, so he's lost at least 20 percent or so of his total blood volume. Probably more. He'll need quite a lot."

"Can I give him enough?"

"Enough to keep him alive, yes, but not enough to get him to 100 percent. His own body will have to take care of that." Miguel sighed and sat down in the chair.

Nathan began drawing blood from his arm. She stopped once he started feeling lightheaded and she set him in a bed and told him to drink some juice before she walked over to Ray. He watched anxiously as she attached the bag to the IV and prepped him for surgery. Eventually she told him Ray was stable enough to be operated on.

He didn't realize he had fallen asleep until Doctor Nathan was shaking his shoulder.

"Alvarez." He instantly jolted awake.

"Is Ray alright?" He asked.

"He's out of surgery. We think he'll be ok." He felt relief flood through him.

"Where is he?" He asked.

"Look to your left." He looked and saw that Ray had been set in the bed next to him.

"We're going to keep you here overnight, just to be sure, since you donated more than people usually do. He's going to be here for a while." Miguel nodded and stretched his hand towards Ray's bed, but it was too far away. Doctor Nathan moved his bed closer to Ray's, so that they were right next to each other.

He watched Ray for a while, but it seemed like he wouldn't be awake any time soon. Sighing, he settled down to wait.

He felt overwhelmingly tired. His whole body was weighed down and although he felt excruciating pain, he barely noticed it; the pain was muffled by the other sensations.

He felt a hand on his cheek. "Wake up, Father Mukada."

"Unhhh."

"I know it hurts but you need to wake up."

"Unhh." He moaned again. He struggled to get his eyes open. He lay there for a while before they finally fluttered open. He saw the face of Miguel Alvarez above him, looking… afraid, almost. The memories of what had happened slammed into him and he opened his mouth to speak. No sound came but a tiny rasp. He noticed that his throat hurt and he winced in pain.

Miguel pressed an ice cube against his lips and he opened his mouth. His throat was moistened and he sighed with relief.

"Miguel." Ray whispered. "Thanks."

"It's just an ice cube."

"No, for bringing me here." Ray's voice stayed a whisper. He couldn't work up the energy to talk louder.

"No problem, Father." Miguel murmured. He set one hand on Ray's shoulder. "What exactly happened? I heard you shouting and saw Keller running out of the room, so I assume it was him, but... What happened, padre?"

"Refused to give him absolution. Attacked me."

"I'm going to kick his ass." Miguel snarled.

"No, don't..." Ray began. His eyes slid closed. "Revenge... isn't the answer."

"You need to rest, padre." Miguel said. He set a hand on Ray's cheek.

"I will if you promise not to kill him." He murmured.

"I can't promise that, padre." Ray sighed and grabbed Miguel's hand from his cheek. He set it against his chest, right above his heart.

"Ray?" Miguel asked in confusion.

"I like the way your hands feel." Ray whispered. His eyes opened for a moment. "I love you."

"Huh?" Miguel asked. His heart began to pound.

"I said I love you." Ray murmured.

"You with me, padre?" Miguel asked.

"I think so." Ray said uncertainly. He slumped against the pillows and closed his eyes.

"We'll talk later, ok father?" Miguel said against his ear.

"Yeah..." Ray sighed. Miguel looked around and kissed his forehead. His hands stroked his body gently and Ray found himself drifting quickly.

Miguel was left with a dozen thoughts, all of them about Father Ray Mukada.

Miguel was discharged the next morning. He managed to convince Doctor Nathan to let him have a minute with Ray before he went back to Em City.

"Father." He whispered.

"Miguel." Ray replied. He started to sit up. Miguel pushed him back and sat down next to him.

"Don't even think about it." Miguel said. Ray gave a faint smile.

"That's one of the things I like best about you." Miguel felt his stomach flutter happily.

"You really meant what you said last night?"

"Of course." Ray said incredulously.

Miguel brought his lips to Ray's gently. The kiss was perfect; tender and sweet, warm and comforting. One of Miguel's hands cupped the back of his head: the other stroked his cheek. Ray reveled in the soothing touch.

"I didn't think you could be that gentle." Ray admitted when they broke away.

"Only for you." Miguel whispered. He continued to stroke Ray's face gently before capturing his lips again.

"Time's up, Alvarez!" Nathan yelled from the door.

"I love you. I'll see you soon." Miguel promised.

"We need to talk about this soon. I love you too though." Ray said quietly. He leaned back against the pillows and fell asleep again as Miguel walked out the door.

Miguel's first thought when he got into Em City was to kill Keller. But, as he sat on his bed, he couldn't help but think of Ray. Somehow, he still had compassion, even for someone who'd tried to kill him. Miguel couldn't understand it. He sighed loudly.

At least he still was handing out food in the hospital so he could ask Ray about it later...

Miguel yawned as he handed out food to the hospitalized inmates. Finally he got to Ray, who was asleep. He shook his shoulder gently.

"Padre." Ray opened his eyes slowly.

"Miguel." He murmured happily. Miguel nodded.

"Feeling ok?"

"Yeah." He lied. Miguel sat next to him.

"You need to eat." He said. He handed him the tray. Ray shook his head.

"I'm not hungry."

"You lost a lot of blood. You need something." Miguel retorted.

"Fine." Ray agreed. Miguel handed him a pudding cup and Ray took a couple mouthfuls. He set it down, his hands shaky.

"That wasn't enough." Miguel said. Ray closed his eyes.

"Too tired." He murmured. Miguel sat next to him and brushed a feather-light kiss on his forehead.

"Father, can I ask you something?" Miguel asked. Ray opened his eyes.

"Go ahead."

"Why don't you want revenge against Keller?"

"Many reasons. One is, of course, that the Bible forbids that sort of thing. Another is that I don't want to sink to his level."

Miguel nodded slowly. It was starting to make some sense- of course the angelic padre wouldn't sink to their level.

As if he'd read his mind, Ray grasped his hand and said, "You aren't like Keller either, Miguel."

"If you say so." Miguel said softly. He brushed another kiss on Ray's forehead.

"Miguel, I'm not supposed to do this." Ray whispered.

"But…" Miguel began Ray shook his head.

"I'm not supposed to but I can't resist either." He finished. Miguel wrapped his arms around him before sighing happily.

"I love you." He whispered to Ray.

"I love you too Miguel." Ray replied.

Miguel walked back to Em City feeling better than he had for a while. His desire for revenge against Keller hadn't been killed, but the desire to be the one to do it had… if only because of Ray.


End file.
